


To know your place

by Nelly2560



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bullied Merlin, Bullying, Complete, Gen, Hurt Merlin, Poor Merlin, Protective Arthur, Protective Knights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8513797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelly2560/pseuds/Nelly2560
Summary: When some of the new recruits notice the odd behavior of a certain servant towards their King and the other knights, they take measures in to their own hands to teach him a lesson. What will Arthur and his knights of the round table do when Merlin starts to act weird around them?English is not my language so bear with me please. Hope you like it. R&R! Slight OOCMerlinI don't own Merlin! The BBC does. I just write this for my own pleasure. I don't earn anything with it.





	1. Eyes on Merlin

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own the characters used in this fanfic. It’s all from BBC’s Merlin. I wish I did though.  
> Anyway, this is my first Merlin fanfic. I hope you like it.  
> Also, let me know if I made any mistakes. If you have anything to say, message me, make a review,… I’d like to get some feedback!  
> Thanks and enjoy!

It would be a good, uneventful day in Camelot, or so Merlin thought when the first rays of sunlight fell through the window. The soft light and sounds of birds woke him well on time, so for the first time this week he would be able to get some breakfast before he had to wake the King. He smiled while pushing himself out of bed and stumbled around his room in order to get dressed. Brown trousers, a blue shirt and a red neckerchief, that would be his outfit for the day. Not that he had much of a choice anyway. Looking down on what he was wearing he thought it would be best to try and safe some money so he would be able to buy an new outfit in the near future. A soft sigh escaped his lips and he shook his head slightly before stepping out of his room. Gaius was still asleep, which was a rare sight indeed. Merlin smiled fondly at the sleeping form of his surrogate father. In the six years he lived with the physician he had grown very attached to the man. Merlin sneaks to the room and tries to make as less sound as he can, placing two bowls on the table and making some porridge for them to eat. But of course, being as clumsy as he is, the young man trips over his own feet on his way to the stove and wakes Gaius with a loud thud and an ‘auch’. The old man was up in a second, looking around for the intruder. When he spots his ward, laying flat on the floor, he chuckles and slips out of bed in order to help the younger back on his feet.

“Good morning Merlin.” he said with a grin.  
“Morning Gaius.” was the short answer he got. Merlin rubbed his sore knees for a short moment before he went on with cooking.  
“You’re up early.” the physician noted. The raven haired boy mumbled something in response. The feeling of a ‘good day’ he had when he got out of bed, had already been gone. They ate their breakfast in silence. Merlin had been eating so slow he still had to run to the kitchens to make it in time to get Arthur’s breakfast. He almost tripped twice on his way to the King’s chambers but thanks to some miracle was able to spill nothing of the food he was carrying. When he arrived at the large bedroom doors, he took a little time to collect himself, took a deep breath and opened them carefully as to not drop anything. He walked over to the table and placed the tray full of food down. After that he walked to the curtains to pull them open. “Rise and shine!” he shouted happily. Arthur groaned but pushed himself out of bed anyway. He knew better than to stay in bed. His manservant would drag him out like he did the last time the royal had tried to sleep in. While he shuffled towards his screen, he saw the boy looking at him with surprised eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that _Mer_ lin! I’m perfectly capable to get out of bed myself, you know.”  
The secret warlock shrugged and grinned at his master.  
“I know that. I just thought you were too lazy to do anything yourself.” he answered smugly.  
The King quickly picked up the goblet that his servant had brought in with his breakfast and threw it at the young man. Merlin, of course, had been expecting this and was able to jump out of the way in time. Arthur growled and all but stormed behind his changing screen. He could hear the idiot laugh which made him growl even more.  
“You want to be put in the stocks today?” he asked. The laughing abruptly stopped and the royal saw his clothes being flung over the side of the screen. He grinned to himself while he changed into his clothes for the day and strode over to his table. Merlin was already making his bed and by the time the king had finished his meal, the young man was going through the room, picking up dirty clothes and other misplaced stuff.  
“I really don’t get how you are able to turn this room into a mess overnight.” the servant sighed.  
“It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s because my idiot of a manservant leaves it like that in the evening. Truly, _Mer_ lin, it is all your own fault. If you would do your chores like you should, you wouldn’t have to do that in the morning.”  
Merlin rolled his eyes while collecting the dishes. “Will that be all, _sire_?” he asked, saying that last word with as much sarcasm as he could muster. The King looked at him and narrowed his eyes slightly.  
“When you have brought those dishes to the kitchen, you can come back here and help me in my armor. Or did you forget we had training this morning?”  
“We?” the boy asked a bit confused.  
“Yes _Mer_ lin, we. You are going to be our practice dummy for today.” the royal said grinning.  
Merlin groaned, picked up the dirty dishes and left the room without a bow. “Prat.” was the last thing Arthur could hear before his door has completely closed.

Half an hour later they were standing on the training fields. Arthur was talking with his new knights while Merlin stood with the knights of the round table. They were listening to one of Gwaine’s famous tavern stories, laughing and rolling their eyes when the tale ended like most of them did, with Gwaine being thrown out of the tavern, head first.  
“I swear,” the knight said, “it was not my fault this time.”  
“Somehow I find that hard to believe.” Lancelot said, shaking his head.  
Gwaine muttered something unintelligible and made a face like a scolded toddler, making them all laugh.  
“If you are all quiet done!” Arthur shouted over to the group, “I’d like to start practice, today!”  
The knights walked into the field while Merlin tried to make himself invisible. Maybe the King would forget about his idea from earlier that day and leave him out of practice. No such luck.  
“Merlin, get yourself over here!” the royal shouted. The raven haired boy huffed but did as he was ordered. It was going to be a long morning.

Of course Merlin couldn’t help but complain during practice. He called Arthur a ‘prat’ and a ‘dollop head’ more times than they could count, made sarcastic comments and ignored direct orders. All much to the amusement of the five round table knights. Even the King himself couldn’t help but smile a few times. (He would never admit that he enjoyed the way his idiot of a manservant was behaving though.) None of them noticed how three of the new recruits were looking at the scene before them with disgust and anger. Everyone had a place in life, and this servant clearly didn’t know his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter! Yay! I don’t know how many chapters I’m going to write for this story. I’ll try to update frequently.  
> Let me know what you think so far!


	2. First threats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don’t own Merlin.  
> I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

When practice was over, Merlin made a bath for Arthur. Complaining all the way. His muscles were sore and he still could hear clinging in his head. He groaned while he emptied the last bucket of warm water into the tub.  
“Don’t be such a _girl_ , _Mer_ lin.” the King said jokingly. The boy rolled his eyes at his master.  
“Prat” he breathed out silently and helped him out of the armor and into the bathtub. 

The rest of the day went on just like most of their days went. Merlin did his chores and Arthur looked at papers and other important things he had to take care of now he was king. All the while keeping their banter going. In the evening there was a special dinner planned to celebrate the new knights. Merlin helped his King in his fine evening clothes and washed up himself.  
“Can you move _any_ slower, you _lazy_ idiot?”  
“I would be quicker if you hadn’t use me like a punching bag this morning, you clotpole!”  
Arthur grinned and punched his servant on the arm. “Ease up, will you.”  
The raven haired boy grunted and rubbed his arm. “Yeah, that’s going to help.” he said sarcastically.  
“You’re such a girl’s petticoat.” the royal said, shaking his head. “Come on, we’re going to be late, _again_.” The young man followed him out of the room and towards the great hall where the banquet would be served.

The evening went well until a certain servant managed to stumble over his own feet and spill the wine he had been carrying, all over the table.  
“Merlin! Buffoon!” Arthur called out. Gwaine, Lancelot, Elyan, Leon and Percival turned their heads towards the front of the table when they heard their King shout. When they saw what the commotion was about they started to laugh loudly.  
“Sorry about that.” Merlin said with a grin on his face. The King just rolled his eyes at his manservant. Another servant had already come forward to clean up the mess that was made while the secret warlock went to refill his pitcher. When he came back to the table he was called over by Gwaine and for the second time that day he got to listen to one of the man’s many stories. He forgot about his duties for that evening and just enjoyed the conversation he was having with his friends. Arthur frequently looked at him, smiling a little, fond smile. He didn’t mind the fact that his servant wasn’t attending to him really. It was obvious that he was happy and that’s all the young King wanted for his friend. (He would never say something like that aloud though and would deny it if they ever asked him.)  
From the other side of the room were three pair of eyes keeping a careful watch on the insolent youth. Sirs Ulrick, Thomas and Ethan were less than happy about what they saw. Something had to change and they were going to make sure it did.

Later that evening, when Merlin was returning to his own room, he felt a strong hand grabbing him by his right arm and he got pulled into an alcove. Before he knew what was happening, a large hand covered his mouth and he got pushed against a wall.  
“Not a sound!” an unknown voice whisper shouted. He felt the hand leave his mouth and wanted to ask what was happening but before he could get the question out he got backhanded.  
“Not. a. sound.” the stranger whispered again, danger clearly in his voice. Merlin blinked a few times until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He now recognized the three knights that were standing in front of him. Sir Ulrick was still holding on to his arm. He could feel the man’s tight grip. That’s going to leave a bruise, he thought silently. Sir Ethan had been the one to speak to him, so it seemed and Sir Thomas was just standing there, at his left side, looking at him. Their eyes were full of hatred and anger. The young man shrunk under their stares and couldn’t help but shiver slightly. For a second he thought about using his magic but he quickly pushed that thought away. It was a stupid idea, using magic against the knights. Arthur would find out immediately and he would sure end up dead. Or at least banished. The King would hate him and that was something he wouldn’t be able to live with. No, magic was out of the question.  
“We couldn’t help but notice the way you behave towards the knights.” sir Thomas said. His voice sounded calm but Merlin could easily hear the restrained anger lingering in his tone.  
“Not to speak about your behavior towards our King!”  
“Who do you think you are, talking to them like that. Acting like you’re their friend, like you’re on equal footing with them.”  
“You’re nothing but a servant!”  
Merlin bit his lip. He knew that he shouldn’t listen to them. He was their friend, he was sure of that.  
“Here’s what’s going to happen.” sir Ethan said. “You get the chance to change the way you behave. We want you to act like a decent servant. You will not talk unless you are spoken to and if we hear you make any insult, whatsoever, we will find you.” the knight threatened.  
“Do I make myself clear?”  
The raven haired man didn’t answer. He stared at the ground and wished he was somewhere else. However, he wasn’t anywhere else but in the dark alcove, surrounded by three, largely build man. He became quickly aware of that when sir Ethan took his shoulders into a strong grip and shook him violently. His head hit the wall behind him and he groaned softly.  
“I said, do I make myself clear!?”  
“Yes… yes, sir.” Merlin answered and the ruff knight pushed him hard against the wall.  
“You’re dismissed.” he growled. Sir Ulrick let go of his arm and he scurried out of the alcove.  
“Ooh and servant, not a word to anyone about this. Or you’ll wish you were never born!”  
Merlin made a bow with his head and ran all the way to his chambers. He ignored Gaius, who was for some reason still awake, and went immediately to his bed. He curled himself up into a ball and tried not to think about all that just had happened. He promised himself he was not letting it get to him. He would ignore those lowlife knights and their stupid threats. They were wrong anyway. Arthur, Gwaine, Lancelot, Leon, Elyan and Percival were his friends. He knew they were. Weren’t they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter!  
> Poor Merlin. Some men just aren’t fit to be knights…  
> Thanks to Evie for her review. I'm glad you like it so far!  
> And also thanks for the kudos and bookmarks. It means a lot to me!


	3. Don't listen to them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin isn’t mine, sadly enough.  
> Enjoy reading!

His pounding head and sore arm were the first things that reminded Merlin of what had happened the night before. He grunted and buried himself under his blanket, not wanting to get out of bed, at all. Not that he was able to stay in his safe cocoon because Gaius threw his door open not a second later.  
“You’re going to be late, Merlin. Get up.”  
The young warlock mumbled something but pushed his covers away anyway and placed his bare feet on the cold floor. He shivered and laid his head in his hands. His head felt like something was drumming inside of it. It wasn’t going to be a good day, he thought.  
He quickly got out of bed, got himself dressed, took a potion from his mentor that would help ease the pain and hurried off to the kitchens. He made his way to Arthur’s chambers in no time, without spilling anything, thank God for that, placed the tray on the table and pulled the curtains open like he did every morning.  
“Up and at ‘em!” He shouted in a cheery voice. When the King refused to respond, the young man quickly strode over to the bed and pulled away the covers.  
“Merlin!” the royal shouted and tried to grab his blankets again but the servant was much faster and threw them off the bed before his master could get a grip on them.  
“No time to hang around today, sire! You’ve got a lot to do. First there’s training, again. Then you have a council meeting, though I don’t think they will actually need you, you have to be there anyway. And of course you can’t forget you still have a few papers to sort out. Ooh and yes Lord Carrick…”  
“Merlin! Shut up!” Arthur shouted while he threw the closest thing he could grab towards his manservant. Luckily for the latter it was just a pillow, because he didn’t see it coming, hitting him in the head. The startled man narrowed his eyes at the King. “Ass” he huffed. It was enough to get the royal out of his bed. Seeing the look his master was giving him made him run to the other side of the room. Arthur, who was obviously faster than the clumsy boy, catched him and gave him a reprimanding slap against his head. Merlin’s face contorted in pain for a second but he quickly schooled his expression. The blonde man did notice it though.  
“Don’t tell me that hurt you.” he said. The raven haired man gazed at his friend and shook his head. “No.” he answered dryly and turned away from him, towards the wardrobe. The King followed him with his eyes and wondered why his always so happy servant seemed so down. He sighed as he saw Merlin laying his fresh clothes over the screen, pushed the uneasy feeling he suddenly had away and walked behind the changing screen. He could hear his manservant rummaging in his room. Probably picking up the thrown pillow and making the bed. When he was fully dressed he came from behind the screen just in time to see how Merlin yawned while leaning against one of the bedposts. He ignored it though and strode over to the table where he silently started to eat. The raven haired boy walked to the table in order to fill Arthur’s goblet and managed to pour the water without spilling a single drop. He smiled to himself, at least his tired and pounding head wasn’t affecting his work that much. Merlin watched as his King ate his breakfast in silence, like he did every morning. It didn’t take long though before the royal was done and he could clear the table. After that he helped Arthur in his armor, for the second time that week. The blonde had ordered that they would train every morning now, not only to help the new recruits get in top shape but it was mostly the upcoming threat from Morgana and her band of thugs that helped him make that decision.  
Not half an hour later they were both standing on the training field, surrounded by the other knights.

“Good morning Merls!” Gwaine shouted happily while he gave the man a friendly smack on his shoulder.  
“Morning, Gwaine.” the young warlock answered in return. He tried to look a little disturbed by the sudden touch but couldn’t help but grin at his friend.  
“Good morning, sire.” the others said while making a small bow towards Arthur.  
“Good morning.” the King answered with a smile and nodded his head. “I hope you’re all well rested? We have a lot to do today.” It wasn’t really a question. All of them knew that, no matter how tired they were, they wouldn’t get out of practice.  
“Don’t be too hard on them, Arthur.” Merlin said with a big goofy smile on his face. “They had a hard training yesterday after all.”  
“Indeed! With such a fierce opponent!” Lancelot laughed. The others joined in when their friend started to pout. He couldn’t keep it up for long though and started to laugh with them.  
“It wasn’t my fault the prat wanted to use me as a dummy.” he said between breaths.  
“Oi!” was all the royal said and smacked Merlin around the head for the second time that day. This time he was able to mask the pain that shot through his head though. As the knights laughed some more, the boys eyes shifted to where his three nightly aggressors were standing. They were looking at him, a badly concealed anger gleaming in their eyes. He quickly averted his gaze and turned his attention back on his friends. ‘Ignore them.’ he thought silently. In the meantime everyone had calmed down again and Arthur had started to give his instructions for that day. They would be sparring against each other. Leon was teamed up with Elyan, Percival with Lancelot and Gwaine would be going up against Arthur himself. The other knights had paired now too and the King gave the signal to start.  
“Are you sure you want to get up against Gwaine?” Merlin asked when the royal landed his first hit. It distracted the blonde enough for the sturdy knight to land a hit for himself.  
“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur shouted and both men chuckled. The raven haired boy placed himself on a bench and watched his friends train with a fond smile on his face.

When practice was over, Merlin helped Arthur out of his harness and into his fresh clothes. When they were ready it was already time for the council meeting.  
“Merlin, this meeting is a closed one. You can go and muck out my stables.” Arthur said with a grin. He knew how his servant disliked that chore.  
“Ooh, fun, thanks Arthur.” the boy answered sarcastically and he rolled his eyes.  
“You’re welcome.” the royal replied while he left the room. The grin still plastered on his face.  
“Clotpole.” Merlin huffed to the now empty room. With a sigh he headed towards the stables.  
As he walked over the courtyard, three pair of eyes were following his every move. He didn’t notice it though, he was too caught up with his complaining about royal prats and stupid chores to see them.

There was no one in the stables, save for the horses who were eating peacefully. They just had been fed so it seemed. Merlin shook his head and sighed. This was going to make his job just a little harder. Cleaning out empty stables was one thing, but doing it with a hungry, eating horse inside was just asking for trouble. He was just about to get the pitchfork when he got pushed. Stumbling over his own feet he fell to the ground. Shocked about the sudden attack he turned around quickly, only to see sirs Ethan, Thomas and Ulrick towering over him. Merlin crawled backwards, his eyes flickered to the now closed stable door.  
“We warned you, didn’t we?” sir Ethan growled.  
“Yet you ignored our order.” sir Ulrick said, his voice dangerously low.  
All of a sudden sir Thomas grabbed the frightened servant by his collar and dragged him back to his feet. The young warlock tried to get away and stepped backwards but his three assailants followed his movements until he felt the wall against his back.  
“What do you want?” he asked. His voice sounded braver than he had expected.  
“Do not speak unless you are asked something, boy!”  
“You clearly need to learn your place!”  
Merlin bit his lip and balled his hands into fists. His magic was bubbling under his skin, ready to protect him but he pushed it down again.  
“They don’t mind me talking to them.” the young man said. “I’m their friend!”  
“Hah! Nonsense! You’re only a _servant_!”  
“You’re nothing but a peasant, an irritating pebble in their shoes.”  
“They only pretend to like you. Probably out of pity.”  
“That’s not true!” Merlin shouted desperately.  
“Silence!” sir Ethan shouted back, pushing him hard against the wall to give his words more force.  
The servant’s knees gave out and he fell back to the ground.  
“You’re worthless! They don’t care about you!” sir Ulrick said. Emphasizing the word ‘worthless’ with a well placed kick to his stomach. Merlin pressed his lips together. He wasn’t going to cry out. He was not going to give them that satisfaction. He rolled himself to a ball and tried to protect his ribs.  
Sir Thomas kneeled down beside him and grabbed his throat.  
“This is your last chance!” he hissed. “I suggest you’ll do as we say.”  
The young man struggled to breath, he tried to pull the knight’s hands away and kicked violently with his legs. Sir Thomas stood up again and the three of them left the stables without another word, leaving Merlin gasping for air. The raven haired boy curled himself to a ball, a single tear rolled over his cheek.  
"They're my friends, they're my friends,..." he whispered over and over again. His head was pounding like someone had been knocking him with a hammer and the room was spinning around him. He closed his eyes to make it all stop and let darkness take over as he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter! I’m not really happy about this one, I had some trouble finding the right words. Anyway, I hope it’s what you all expected.  
> A big thank you to eilonwy77 for your fun review.  
> Reviews are more than welcome. If you have any remarks, let me know! :)  
> Again thanks to those who have bookmarked my story. It still means a lot to me!


	4. Dreams and doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How I wish Merlin was mine… But maybe better not, the stories wouldn’t be all that good.  
> Enjoy reading!

When Merlin opened his eyes again he was still laying on the floor of the stables. He groaned softly when he became aware of the pain from his chest, head and throat. How long had he been out? An hour? Two hours? He carefully pushed himself up and had to place a hand against the wall in order to steady himself. The room was still spinning and he was sure he had at least a mild concussion. When he regained his balance he tightened his neckerchief around his neck. He was sure that the hands of sir Thomas had left bruises and he didn’t want anyone to see them. When he was sure his throat was properly covered he carefully walked out of the stables. He looked around to make sure no one was there to watch him. As he looked up at the sky he could see that the sun began to go down.  
‘Arthur’s dinner!’ he thought and without a moment’s waste he hurried off to the kitchens. He ignored the pain in his chest that was growing worse with every step and made it just in time to the King’s room. Taking a deep breath he opened the large doors and strode inside. Arthur was already there, sitting at his desk, going through some papers.  
“Did you lose your way?” the King asked without looking up.  
“What?” was Merlin’s confused response.  
“I haven’t seen you since I’ve send you to the stables.” the royal said, raising his head.  
“No, well, it took me a little while to complete that chore…”  
“You fell asleep.” It wasn’t a question.  
“I… No, of course not! I just…”  
“It wouldn’t be the first time, _Mer_ lin. Since you’ve had your beauty sleep, you can stay up longer to polish my armor.” Arthur said while walking to his chair.  
“Yes, sire.” the young warlock replied and he bowed his head. If he had just looked at his King, he would have seen the confusion and worry in the man’s eyes. For the servant didn't use the word ‘sire’ most of the time. Certainly not in the obedient way like he did now.  
Merlin walked closer to the table in order to fill Arthurs goblet but thanks to his headache, that seemed to be getting worse, and his distracted mind, he tripped over his own feet, fell to the table and took the pitcher and a plate filled with bread and meat with him to the ground.  
“Merlin!” Arthur shouted in shock. “You really are the most useless servant in whole of Camelot, aren’t you!”  
The boy quickly got up, picked the pitcher and plate from the floor and cleaned the spilled wine and food.  
“I’m sorry, sire.” he said softly and he lowered his head. He started to doubt if the King really saw him as a friend. Maybe it had just been his own imagination. Maybe he just thought Arthur saw him as a friend because he certainly thought about him like that. Although he wasn’t able to tell him his biggest secret. A soft sigh escaped his lips.  
“Can I be excused, sire?” Again that word. There was no sarcasm in his voice this time and he kept his eyes on the ground. Arthur frowned. Something was definitely wrong with Merlin, but for the life of him he didn’t know what.  
“You can go.” Arthur answered and watched as his manservant left the room, without another word.

Merlin slowly walked back to his room. His head kept going back to the events in the stables.  
He knew he shouldn’t listen to those three horrible knights but he couldn’t help himself thinking about their words. It wasn’t the first time Arthur had called him useless but for the first time in those six years he started to wonder if the King really meant what he said. He had thought that those insults were only meant as harmless jibes but now he wasn’t really sure about that anymore. By the time he arrived at the physicians chamber he had decided he would try and be a better servant. Maybe Arthur would like that.  
He opened the door quietly so he would not startle Gaius. He knew that if his mentor was mixing some potions, it would be better to not be around at all. Luckily for him the old physician wasn’t there. He quickly took the painkiller he needed so badly and went straight to bed. Hopefully it would all be better in the morning.

Merlin’s night had been terrible. Every time he closed his eyes his sleepy mind brought him back to the horrors of earlier that day. He could see their eyes, he could feel their hands and worst of all, he could hear them. Every single word, spoken with so much anger and so much hate. And if those memories weren’t terrible enough, the faces of the three knights started to change in those of his friends. At first it were Leon, Elyan and Percival, cornering him, calling him names.  
_“Useless!”_  
_“Vermin!”_  
_“You’re nothing but a servant!”_  
The young man woke up with tears in his eyes. ‘It’s just a dream, it wasn’t real. They are your friends. It’s just a dream.’ he kept repeating in his mind. After that he didn’t want to sleep anymore but the tiredness took over again. As soon as he closed his eyes the dream returned. This time the faces morphed into those of Arthur, Gwaine and Lancelot.  
_“Useless toad of a servant! You can’t do anything right!”_  
_“I would never be friends with such a weakling like you!”_  
_“Filthy sorcerer!”_  
“No!!” Merlin cried out. His shout woke him up. He was shaking terribly and tears were streaming down his face.  
“It’s not true, it’s a dream, it’s just a dream. They’re your friends, your friends. It was just a dream…” he whispered softly to himself.  
When he calmed down again he pushed himself out of bed and quietly dressed himself. He refused to fall asleep again. The memory of Arthur’s armor that still needed to be polished came to mind. He would go to the armory. Doing his chore would surely keep him awake and the King would be happy that he followed his orders. He slowly opened his door so it wouldn’t squeak and shuffled passed the sleeping form of his mentor. Somehow Merlin’s shout hadn’t woken him. The secret warlock went straight to the armory for he knew that no one would be awake to see him roam the halls on this nightly hour. When he arrived at the weapon chamber he saw that there was no one around. ‘Obviously’ he thought. He found a cloth and began to work. The rhythmic movements he made while polishing the king’s armor made him relax a bit. His mind however wouldn’t stay still. He kept thinking about his friends. Were there clues about what they thought about him? Should he have seen it if they didn’t want him to be around? Were those new recruits right? He was so far lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice how it slowly began to light outside. Birds chirped while the sun started to come out of her slumber.  
He was startled from his thoughts because the door to the armory suddenly flew open. Leon and Elyan walked in. They came to pick up some weapons for the training of that morning.  
“Aren’t you supposed to wake Arthur?” Leon asked when he saw the raven haired boy rubbing the breastplate of the king’s armor. Merlin quickly got up.  
“Yes, of course, I lost track of time. Thank you sir Leon.” he said, rushing for the door after he made a quick bow.  
“You better hurry.” Elyan said while he took some practice swords.  
The young boy ran out of the room to the kitchens. The movement and his quickened breath aggravated his chest though so he had to slow down. He tried to catch his breath and sighed. ‘Was it just him or had those two been acting rather cold just now?’ he wondered. Leon had no reason to act friendly with him, he thought. He was a noble after all. He didn’t need to act like he was his friend, right? And Elyan, he really didn’t know that knight all too well. Come to think of it, he didn’t have a real talk with the man before. Not like he had talked with Gwaine or Lancelot. Maybe those two had just been acting kind towards him because of the others. Merlin shook his head. He shouldn’t think like that. They were his friends. He knew they were. Weren’t they?  
He picked up Arthur’s breakfast and went imidiatly to the royal chambers. When he arrived at the doors he stopped for a moment and knocked. No answer came of course. Arthur was still sleeping. Merlin knocked again but when he was met with silence again he quietly opened the door and went inside. He placed the plate and pitcher on the table as carefully as he could muster and went to open the curtains. The King woke when the light teased his eyes. When he opened them he could see Merlin, he was standing with his back towards him, looking out of the window. No cheerful ‘rise and shine’ or the irritating ‘up and at ‘em’ or even the worse ‘shake a leg’. It made him remember the strange behavior of his friend that previous evening and he wondered if he was alright.  
“Merlin?” he asked while he pushed himself into a sitting position.  
The servant in question quickly turned around and smiled at him.  
“Good morning, sire. I’m sorry I woke you this late. I was at the armory and lost track of time. The others are already at the training field.” While realizing his mistake he lowered his head and looked at the ground. Arthur didn’t respond but got out of bed and walked over to the boy. As he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder he could see how he flinched at the touch and it made him frown. ‘What happened to him to react like this?’  
“Are you alright Merlin?” he asked carefully.  
“Yes, sire.” the boy responded in a soft voice. “Shall I help you dress or do you want to eat something first?” he asked.  
“Merlin! What’s wrong with you? You never call me sire.”  
“I’m sorry, Arthur. It’s nothing. I’m alright.” he looked up to the meet his masters’ eyes and gave him a small smile. ‘Was that worry he could see there?’  
“Let me help you get ready. The others are already waiting.”  
Arthur let Merlin dress him and took a quick bite from one of the apples. All the while he kept observing the black haired boy. His movements were slow and his shoulders were slumped. He looked sad and troubled. The King made a mental note to ask about that later.  
“Where’s my armor?” he asked suddenly.  
Merlin’s face became even paler than he normally was and stuttered “I… It’s still in the armory. I… I’m sorry, sire. I’ll bring it to you on the training field.” He made a bow and hurried out of the room, straight back to the armory.

Upon seeing the king’s armor, the servant noticed that he still had to polish the helmet. He cursed under his breath and imidiatly got to work. Maybe Arthur wouldn’t notice if he was a bit later. After a few minutes he was done and ready to leave when the door suddenly flew open.  
“Here you are!” Gwaine exclaimed. “The Princess is waiting for you at the training field. You better hurry up before he decides to use you as a dummy again.” the sturdy knight said with a grin.  
Merlin huffed, got up and took the armor in his arms. His friend rushed over and took some of the metal in his own hands. “Thanks.” the boy said with his first genuine smile of that day on his face. They walked side by side to the field, Gwaine was telling a joke and succeeded in making the boy laugh. ‘At least I know for sure that he is my friend.’ the young warlock thought happily. As they reached the training grounds they could see that everyone was already there. The King was talking with his knights, telling them about his plans for that training. When he saw his manservant he quickly left them behind and let him help him into his armor. They both didn’t say a word.

Merlin watched the training from the sidelines. He didn’t pay any attention to what was happening in front of him though. His mind kept jumping from one thought to another. Memories from the past came flooding back and mixed with thoughts about his friends. While he looked at them, fighting each other, he thought about their friendship. If there was any reason to call it friendship. He was just a servant after all. The words of the three knights and his nightmares had left their marks.

‘Lancelot, the black haired, noble, knight. A brave warrior with a pure heart. He was his friend. No doubt about that. He was the only one, besides Gaius and his mother, who knew about his magic. Although he didn’t know the true extend of his powers he had seen firsthand that he wasn’t a weakling. It was his spell that killed the griffin after all. Merlin knew that he could talk about anything with the knight, without fear that he would scare him away or that he would tell Arthur. Yes, Lancelot was his friend. The real Lancelot would never call him a filthy sorcerer like the one in his dreams had done. _Right?_ '

‘Leon, born of noble blood. He was a true knight, fair and honest. He was loyal to Arthur, maybe the most loyal of them all. The man had fought many battles already and it was almost a miracle he was still alive. The knight hadn’t paid much attention to the young warlock at first but because they went on a lot of patrols and hunts together they had grown closer to each other. The band between them had begin to grow when the others joined the knights. But to say that Leon saw him as a friend? Merlin couldn’t be sure. _He never said that you were._ '

‘Percival, the friendly giant. Merlin had felt a strong friendship towards the big, muscular knight from the beginning. Although he didn’t talk much, his body language told everything he wanted to say. Merlin knew that the man felt protective over him because he reminded him of his younger brother. But was it enough? Was a feeling like that worthy of being called friendship? _Maybe?_ '

‘Elyan, protector of the innocent. A true knight at heart, that’s for sure. He followed his believes and was loyal to Arthur. Merlin liked the man but he didn’t feel like he knew him all that much. Other than that he was sure that he did earn his place at the round table. Although he certainly felt friendship for the dark knight, he could only hope the man felt the same towards him. _Did he?_ '

‘Gwaine, the strength of the group. He sure was something else. Merlin knew that he was the son of a knight but he refused to tell the others. The man was often found at the tavern. Mostly drunk. He had a love for apples and women. The latter getting him into trouble, a lot. He once had told him that he was his only friend. Now that statement wasn’t true anymore. The sturdy knight had a lot of friends now. But that didn’t bother the young warlock at all. He knew that, whatever would happen, Gwaine would be there by his side. It was safe to say that Gwaine was his friend. _Until he had no use of him anymore._ '

‘Arthur, the once and future King of Albion. Prat, dollop-head, utter ass and a spoiled arrogant brat. Or at least that’s what he was, six years ago. He had changed so much since the day they met. He had become a great King and Merlin was proud to call him his master. He would stay by his side and protect him until the day he died. If only he could tell him about his magic. But although he saw the royal as his friend, he wasn’t sure if he returned those feelings and he was afraid that, whatever Arthur felt towards him, wouldn’t be enough to get him to accept his powers. He was afraid that the King would hate him if he would ever find out. With a big secret like that, Merlin didn’t feel worthy at all to be called a friend. So no, Arthur was not a friend, not until he knew and accepted who he really was. _But that would never happen._ '

From upon the training field, six knights interrupted their practice to look at their friend, who seemed lost in his own thoughts. A frown plastered on his pale face, his lips for once without a smile and slumped shoulders. They all shared a worried look before they went on with their sparring matches. They made a silent vow to themselves that they would find out what was bothering their young friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a lot of thinking from Merlin, who is obviously having doubts about how his friends see him. I hope it wasn’t boring. Next chapter will be better, I hope.  
> A big thank you to eilonwy77, evie and a certain Guest for the encouragement. I really enjoy reading your reviews. They make my day. :)  
> And of course a thank you to the new readers. Welcome all to this story. I hope you like it.  
> Please let me know what you think!


	5. Weird behavior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Guess what! Merlin is……n’t mine. Obviously.  
> Anyway, thank you all for staying with this story. Enjoy reading the next chapter.

When Arthur made an end to the training they all rushed to their young friend’s side.  
“You alright there, mate?” Gwaine asked but Merlin didn’t seem to notice him.  
“Merlin?” Lancelot gently laid a hand on his shoulder. To their surprise, the young man jerked away from the touch and he looked up with utter fear in his eyes. It took him a few seconds before he realized who was standing in front of him. He took a shuddering breath and schooled his expression.  
“I’m sorry.” he said, his voice nothing more than a whisper. He turned his gaze to the ground because he knew that he was being watched. ‘That’s the only reason I’m avoiding their eyes.’ he tried to convince himself. ‘Not because I believed them. I don’t believe them. They are my friends.’  
“Merlin, what’s going on?” Silence.  
“What happened?”  
Merlin bit his lip. ‘I should tell them. It’s alright, they’re my friends.’ The young warlock looked back up and was about to say something when he saw sir Thomas out of the corner of his eyes. It was obvious he was watching him. He quickly closed his mouth again and shook his head.  
“It’s nothing. I’m alright.” he answered with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes.  
“You’re a terrible liar.” Arthur said.  
“I’m not lying.” was the short response. None of them were fooled by the fake smile on their friends face. They knew there was something he wasn’t telling them but they couldn’t force it out of him now, could they?  
“Alright” Arthur said with a sigh. “Come on then, you can make me a bath. I sure can use that.”  
“You sure could, princess. You’re smelling like a pig!” Gwaine joked, earning him a punch against his arm from the King. The others started to laugh but Merlin simply stood up and bowed his head, waiting for his master to order him to follow. Looking at him like that, one would almost think he was the example of obedience. The laughter quickly died out and the knights shared a few worried glances before Arthur gestured for his servant to follow him to the castle.

The raven haired boy started on his chore without complained. He ran up and down the stairs with buckets full of steamy water. It did nothing good for his bruised ribs but he tried to ignore the pain as much as he could. However, it made him move slower and by the time he arrived in the room, the water had cooled down a lot. On other days he would have used his magic to get the bath at the right temperature but now he felt like he didn’t deserve to do it the easy way. If he wanted to be the King’s friend he had to stop using his magic, at least for his daily tasks, and had to do his chores just like every other servant. He would try to be less useless, less worthless.  
Arthur was watching his friend and could tell there was something terribly wrong but he didn’t know how to get Merlin to tell him. ‘Maybe he would feel better again if he could get away from the castle for a while.’ he thought to himself. The royal quickly made up his mind. They would go on a hunting trip, just the seven of them. Leon, Elyan, Percival, Lancelot, Gwaine, Merlin and himself. He knew that his servant disliked hunting with a passion but he did like the trips he made with his friends. Hopefully it would be enough to get his idiotic, bumbling manservant back.  
Pleased with himself he let his servant help him undress. He tried to not pay too much attention to the disturbing silence and stepped into his bath.  
“ _Mer_ lin! The water is cold! You are half asleep today!” he shouted with shivering breath.  
Instead of getting the witty response Arthur had hoped for he saw his friend growing pale again and lowering his head in fear.  
“I… I’m terribly sorry, sire. I’ll get you some hot.” he stuttered. He was just about to leave the room when his master called him back.  
“Merlin, wait! It’s alright, I didn’t mean it like that. Just, euh, just leave it. It’s refreshing.”  
“As you wish, sire.” the young warlock said while he turned back around.  
Arthur tilted his head and gazed at the dark haired man. He was more sure about his decision than he was before. His friend had to get away from everything for a while.  
“Merlin, I’d like to go on a hunting trip tomorrow. Prepare the bags and inform the knights, will you? We’ll leave tomorrow at dawn.”  
“All of them, sire?” If Arthur was shocked he didn’t hear any complained about the hunting part, he didn’t show it.  
“No, just the round table knights will do.”  
The young boy made a bow and left the room. The King shook his head and sighed while he got out of the freezing water. ‘I hope my plan will work.’ he thought.

It didn’t take long for the servant to find the other knights. They were still in the armory, polishing their own armor and laughing with each other. Merlin was just about to tell them the news when he saw they were not alone. The new recruits were also there, laughing along with something sir Leon had said. Gwaine gave sir Ethan a friendly slap on his shoulder and Lancelot smiled brightly at sir Ulrick. Just the sight of it made the secret warlock want to turn around and run out of the room but he stayed, remembering what the King had ordered him to do.  
“I’m sorry to disturb you, sirs.” he said, his gaze locked on the floor while he waited for permission to speak. Everyone turned their heads to look at him.  
“Merlin, mate!” Gwaine exclaimed in a cheery voice. “What is it?”  
“Arthur, the King, wants to go on a hunting trip. He asked me to inform you about his plan. We’ll leave tomorrow at dawn.”  
“Who’s going with him?” Leon asked.  
“You and sirs Elyan, Percival, Lancelot and Gwaine, sir.” he said without looking up.  
“Very well” the older knight answered. “We’ll be ready.”  
Merlin made a bow and left the room again. He could feel their eyes burn in his back. As he went to his own room to pack for the upcoming trip, he could feel tears prickling behind his eyes. ‘They like them. They are friends.’ he thought while the scene from the armory repeated itself inside his head. To say it pained him to see that, was an understatement.

As the raven haired boy entered the physicians chambers Gaius looked up at him and raised his famous eyebrow.  
“You are back early.”  
“Arthur wants me to pack. We’re going hunting tomorrow.”  
“Hunting? Again?” Merlin shrugged.  
“What’s troubling you, my boy?” the old physician asked concerned.  
“Nothing Gaius. I just don’t like hunting, that’s all.”  
His mentor gave him a look that indicated he didn’t believe a word he said but Merlin ignored it and went to his room. A few minutes later he came back with a half empty saddlebag in order to fill it with medical supplies. He made sure he took enough painkillers and bandages. It wouldn’t be the first time if they would get attacked by bandits or other ruffians.  
When he was certain he had everything he went back to Arthur’s room. The king’s bag wouldn’t make itself. He softly knocked on the door and waited for an answer before entering.  
“Come in.” he heard and he pushed the door open.  
“Merlin? Since when have you learned how to knock?”  
“I’ve always known, sire.” A small smile crept up the boy’s lips as he answered.  
“I’ve informed the knights and packed our medical supplies. I’ll tell the cook to make a saddlebag full of food later this evening, just in case. Shall I pack your things, sire?”  
Arthur didn’t respond but stared at his manservant instead. It made the boy feel uncomfortable and shift from one foot to the other.  
“Yes, _Mer_ lin” he said after some time, “that’s what I pay you for, don’t I?”  
Merlin nodded and quickly started to get Arthur’s things.  
If he didn’t know better, the King would begin to think that his bumbling fool of a manservant had been abducted and replaced by an imposter. The royal shook his head and sighed for the umpteenth time that day.  
“Everything is ready for our trip, sire. Is there anything else I can do for you?”  
“No, Merlin. In fact, you can have the evening off. Get some rest so you can get up bright and early tomorrow. I’ll ask another servant to bring me my dinner.”  
“Thank you, sire. Good night.” the servant said with a bow.  
“I’ll pass by the kitchens to inform the cook about our food before I’ll get back to my chambers.” he said before he left the room. Arthur gave him a small nod.  
“Good night, my friend.” the King whispered as he saw the door close.

As he had promised, the young warlock passed by the kitchens on his way back to his room. It was the long way but he didn’t mind. Now he had the evening off he had some time to relax. He would use it to try and heal his ribs and head, for though the pain had lessened, it was still there.  
He wasn’t paying any attention to where he was going which made him suddenly bump into someone.  
“Sorry, sir.” he mumbled. When he realized who it was, his heart jumped with fear.  
“You! Just who we were looking for.” sir Ethan said with an evil grin. Before he could do anything he got grabbed by sir Thomas and dragged into an empty room.  
“You’ve been listening to our orders at last!” sir Ulrick said.  
Merlin was confused. If they were pleased with how he behaved, what did they want from him now?  
“But don’t think it’s safe to get back to being your old self when we are not around to watch you. We’ll know.” sir Thomas threatened.  
“Besides, don’t you think it’s better this way? I know the King appreciates what we did for him.” sir Ethan said with a smug grin playing on his lips.  
“Even the knights of the round table are happier now that you’ve changed.”  
The young man bit his lip. He knew better than to talk when he wasn’t asked something.  
“This will stay between us!” sir Ulrick warned. “It’s our little secret.”  
“Now off you go!” sir Ethan said while pushing the stunned boy out of the door.  
Merlin didn’t hesitate for a second and quickly ran to his room. ‘They are happier now?’ he thought sadly. ‘How could I have been so blind to the truth?’  
Without any word to Gaius he rushed up to his bedchamber and locked himself in. He crawled into his bed and cried himself to sleep.

_‘Merlin walked into the great hall. He could see Arthur and his knights, sitting at the round table. He smiled fondly at his friends and wanted to walk over to his place, at the right side of his King, when he noticed there was already someone sitting there. His heart shattered to pieces as he saw who it was. Sir Ethan! Upon a better look Merlin could also see sirs Ulrick and Thomas sitting at the table. They were all talking and laughing. None of them had even seen him entering the room. He quietly strode over and went to stand behind Arthur’s chair, a pitcher suddenly in his hand. (Where did that come from?) A sudden motion from the royal’s hand made him step forward. He bowed his head obediently while he filled the man’s goblet. Sir Ethan made a big movement with his hands, slamming into Merlin’s arm, making him spill the wine he was currently pouring. “You useless piece of filth! I’ve had it with you!” Arthur shouted angry. “Get out! And don’t show your face here ever again!” Merlin looked at him with utter shock in his eyes. He couldn’t mean that, could he? The young man turned his gaze to the knights for he hoped to get some support from them but what he saw made him tremble. Most of them didn’t even look! Those who did were watching him with anger that matched that of the King. He did the only thing he could think of, run. Run like Death itself was chasing him.’_

The next morning could not come soon enough. Merlin wanted to get out and away. As far away from all that had happened these last days. Away from his nightmares and away from those who brought fear to his heart. Of course he feared others, like Morgana and whomever she was siding with. But that was a different kind of fear entirely. At least that was something he could fight. This however, he wasn’t too sure about.  
He got out of bed with the first signs of morning and quietly dressed himself. His ribs still gave him a little discomfort but at least his headache was completely gone. It seemed like his magic had done it’s work overnight. His throat however was still sore and in the little mirror he owned he could see the hand shaped bruises. He carefully tied his neckerchief securely around it and made sure none of the color was showing. When he was satisfied with how he looked he went out of his bedroom. He took his bags and an apple from the fruit bowl. With one last look at his still sleeping mentor he left the room and headed for Arthur’s chambers. He didn’t need to get any breakfast for the royal today since they would be leaving at dawn. They were going to picnic in the forest like they always did on these outings.  
Arthur, much to Merlin’s surprise, was already up and dressed when he arrived at the royal chamber.  
“Good morning , Merlin.” the King said with an optimistic, cheery tune in his voice.  
“Thought you were going to be late, _as always_ , so I took the liberty of dressing myself for a change. We’re all ready to go, the knights are waiting outside and the horses have already been saddled.” The young warlock gazed at his master with wide open mouth and eyes.  
“Everything is ready?” he asked unbelieving.  
“Yes, _Mer_ lin. No need to act like that. I am capable of doing things myself, you know.”  
“So you’ve told me.” Merlin said while he smiled slightly. But then he seemed to remember something which made him frown and look at the ground. Arthur sighed quietly. He thought that he had seen a little of his old friend again but that moment didn’t last long.  
“Come on” the King said while steering the raven haired boy out of his room and towards the courtyard.

“Aah! Good morning Merls!” Gwaine shouted when he saw his young friend. “And good morning, princess.” he continued with a wide grin. “Are we all ready?”  
“Good morning to you too.” the royal answered while he tried to look offended. No success there. It only resulted in a chuckle from the sturdy knight. The others simply rolled their eyes.  
They all ascended their horses and started to ride towards the gate. Arthur up front, imidiatly followed by his knights. Merlin closed the row. He had seen his three assailants watching from the stables and didn’t think it would be a good idea to ride at the King’s right hand this time.  
Once they reached the trees, the young warlock sighed and relaxed. Maybe everything would get better now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos I've been recieving.  
> It seems like I keep thanking people. But I really mean it. I’m most grateful! Keep them coming. –Huggles to all-


	6. The hunting trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I don’t own Merlin. I don’t get why I have to keep saying it.  
> Had a lot of trouble with this one. Hope you like it though.

They rode in silence for hours until Arthur finally decided to stop for a while to get some breakfast. Personally he wanted to get a little further into the woods but Gwaine had started to complain about his growling stomach. They got to a halt at a beautiful clearing and bound their horses to a tree. Merlin quickly took the saddlebags filled with food and a blanket and started to set everything up for their little picnic.  
“Apples!” Gwaine exclaimed happily and he friendly hit the young man on his shoulder. Like it did last time, this sudden touch made the secret warlock flinch away in fear.  
“Alright Merlin, out with it.” Arthur said. “Tell us what happened.”  
“Nothing, sire” answered the raven haired boy with his eyes fixed on their meal.  
“The truth, please.”   
“Truly, sire, there’s nothing wrong.” Merlin said, avoiding the King’s eyes.  
“ _Mer_ lin! Don’t you think we believe you for one single second! You’ve called me ‘sire’ almost a hundred times these last few days, you apologize far more than you should, you do every chore imidiatly and without complaint but worst of all, you always keep your head down, like you’re afraid to look at me.” the royal said, all the while keeping his gaze on his manservant who seemed to find a certain spot on the ground very interesting.  
“That’s not all.” Elyan added. “He’s behaving exactly the same towards us. He keeps calling us ‘sir’.”  
The other’s nodded in agreement.   
“Even me.” Gwaine said.  
“What’s going on, Merlin?” The young man could practically feel their eyes burn in his flesh while they tried to figure him out. He wanted to tell them but the warning and the words from the new recruits were playing on repeat in his head. Not only that but his dream from the previous night had left him busy thinking too.  
“Nothing. I… just wanted to be a better servant. That’s all.” he answered eventually.  
“You wanted to be a better servant?” Arthur asked a little confused.  
Merlin simply nodded and stood up.  
“I’ll go and water the horses. Enjoy your breakfast.” he said, still without a single look at any of them. They all just watched him get to work, too stunned to say or do anything other than stare at their young friend. ‘Why didn’t he just tell them what’s bothering him?’  
“Merlin!” Arthur called after a few minutes. “Come and join us, you must be starving.”   
The black haired boy slowly made his way towards the blanket and sat himself down. He took an apple and made a small bite. When he noticed no one was saying anything, he dared to look up, just to see them all watching him.  
“What is it? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, suddenly uncertain about himself.  
“It’s nothing.” Lancelot assured him. “We just wanted to make sure you were alright and well, eating.”  
“You do seem rather skinny.” Leon said.  
“You should eat more.” Percival added and the others nodded in agreement. The king took a slice of cake and gave it to Merlin.  
“Here” he said. “Eat this. It’ll help you get some fat.”  
“Thanks” the young warlock replied while he took the cake from his master’s hands. They all sat in silence after that until Gwaine came up with an ‘interesting’ story about apples. Merlin caught himself listening to and even enjoying the funny knight’s tale. He appreciated this little show of normality and for a few moments it felt like nothing had happened at all.

When they were all done eating, Merlin packed everything together again and collected the dishes. There was a small river, not too far from where they were, where he could wash them. He left the clearing without a word, a frown again on his face. Arthur and the knights followed him with their eyes until he was completely out of sight.  
“Do you believe him?” Leon asked to no one in particular.  
“I do believe what he said.” the King answered. “I just don’t think he’s telling us everything.” he sighed while turning his head back to the group.  
“Something must have happened to him, that’s clear as day.”  
“Yes, for someone who’s trying to hide it, he’s actually showing a lot.”  
“What did you do, _princess_?”  
“Why do you always assume it was something I did, _Gwaine_?”  
“He said he wanted to be a better servant. You’re always telling him how useless he is!”  
“I never mean those words. He must know that, surely!”  
“What if he doesn’t?”  
Merlin entered the clearing again and they all fell silent. ‘Did his friend really believe all those insults? And why such a sudden change? Why now, after six years?’ Arthur wondered.  
They all got to their feet and climbed on their horses.  
“We’ll ride a few hours south.” the King announced. “I know a nice hunting place with a lot of smaller animals.” They all tapped their horses and within a minute they were all galloping through the forest.  
The young warlock kept himself at the back of the group until his master called him over. They were just walking at a slow pace now and there would be time to talk. Gwaine had already started another tavern story which they already knew but listened to anyway. There was something about the way the knight told his tales that they enjoyed. Merlin rode in silence, next to his King and was watching the trees for any indication of danger. He may be feeling unworthy but that would not keep him from fulfilling his destiny. He would keep protecting his friends, even when they didn’t see him as such. When he was sure everything was as it should be, there were no weird sounds, the birds were chirping in the trees and there were no sudden movements in the shadows, he finally relaxed and sat back in his saddle. Gwaine’s story had come to an end at some point but now Elyan was talking about something that happened to him on one of his many travels.  
After a while, the young man started to shift in his saddle. He sighed and groaned softly, stood up, tried another position and sighed again.  
“Is there something wrong with you?” Arthur asked eventually.  
“I’ve been on a horse all day.” came the reply. Merlin’s discomfort was clear in his eyes.  
“Is your little bottom sore?”   
The servant didn’t reply but rolled his eyes.  
“We’re almost there!” the King announced for the whole group. And he was right. They arrived at a new clearing just a few minutes later. It was a beautiful sight. The open space on itself was big enough to make a small camp and there was a small stream running on one side of it. They were all quick to get off their horses and Merlin started imidiatly on his work. He was surprised though to see how the knights and even Arthur took their own bedrolls and saddlebags in order to lay them out around the camp. The only thing he had to do was getting everything ready for the fire. He found some firewood that was just a few feet into the forest and built the fireplace. They wouldn’t need it just yet but at least everything would be ready when they returned from the hunt.  
They paired off. Leon and Elyan went to the south, Percival and Lancelot went to the east and Gwaine and Arthur were going to the west. Merlin followed the latter of course. He didn’t want his King to run into any trouble. Besides, it gave him a chance to scare of the animals. Although he wanted to be a better servant, he still disliked seeing those poor little things get killed. The royal thought of him as clumsy already anyway. And so they went into the forest, in search for rabbits and other small animals they could use for their dinner.  
Gwaine and Arthur obviously caught nothing. Just when the King was about to shoot a rabbit, Merlin bumped into him. The sudden noise and movement made the unexpecting prey run off.  
“ _Mer_ lin!” the royal shouted. “We’re hunting, you know. It requires speed, stealth and an agile mind.” He tapped the boys head to make his point more clear.  
“So you get by on two out of three.” the raven haired boy replied. It was nothing more than a whisper, not even meant to be heard but Arthur did hear it. He didn’t react however but a small smile played on his lips. This was the first sign of normal behavior he got from his servant in days. ‘My plan is already working.’ he thought satisfied.  
Leon and Elyan came back with two rabbits and a pheasant. It wasn’t much but they would have some meat at least. Percival and Lancelot had caught one rabbit but were able to find some berries they could eat. They still had enough food in their saddlebags too so they didn’t complain.

Merlin started to clean the animals. It was still a little early to eat but it would take a while to get the four little beasts ready to eat. He was halfway with the first rabbit when he noticed how Elyan, Gwaine and Percival had taken the other animals to clean them. The young boy couldn’t help but smile at this. They were actually helping him. Him! A mere servant! ‘Maybe they do care?’  
Meanwhile, the normally reserved, Lancelot was telling a story about his youth. He remembered hunting with his father and told about the first time he had to skin a rabbit himself. The knight showed the facial expressions he must have had while doing that and all six of them started to laugh. Even a certain young, black haired man was chuckling. They all noticed how Merlin was slowly getting back to normal. Whatever had happened, it was clearly fading to the background while they were together in the forest.

The evening went on like this. The knights told stories, both sad and funny. Merlin made a stew with the fresh caught meat. He gave them all a full plate and there was still some left. He hesitated for a second but right when he wanted to eat something Arthur asked, “Have you watered and fed the horses?”  
“Well…”  
“Come on, they must be starving.”  
“But…”  
“On your toes.”  
Merlin bit his lip but got up and walked over to the horses. Right now, when he had started to feel like himself again, when he had beginning to think that sirs Ulrick, Ethan and Thomas had been wrong, now something like this happened. A single tear ran down his face but he swiftly swept it away. He was not going to cry about this, for God’s sake!  
“Was that necessary?” Lancelot whispered.  
“It’s just a joke.” Arthur defended himself. Normally jokes like this did work. It was just bantering after all. Right?  
When the young man returned, the knights were already done eating. They stood up and brought him their empty plates.  
“It was lovely, Merlin, thanks.” Gwaine said, placing his hand on the man’s shoulder.  
“I loved it.” was Percival’s comment.  
“Me too.” followed Leon.  
“You got to wash those.” Arthur said, motioning to the dirty dishes. “And this too.” He placed the almost empty pot on top of the plates.  
“Thanks.” Merlin answered dryly, making sure he didn’t show any of his emotions.  
“Ooh, there’s still a bit left.” The King remarked. He took the spoon and scraped the last bites out of the pot. He ignored his friend’s saddened look as much as he could and made satisfied noises.  
“Good, was it?” the black haired boy asked.  
“Hmm, a little bit salty though.” the Royal replied.  
Merlin lowered his head and turned towards the stream. He bit back the tears that were threatening to leak out of his eyes again.  
“Merlin.” he heard Leon chuckle and he turned around again.  
“There’s another plate here.” the knight said laughing while he showed the full plate of delicious stew. The other knights started to laugh now too. Merlin managed a soft chuckle.  
“Here, I’ll take those.” Gwaine said while taking the dishes out of his friend’s hands. The boy wanted to protest but before he could do that, Leon had already given him his plate.  
“Sit down, Merlin. Relax now you can.” Arthur said, pushing his friend gently down next to the fire. The young warlock looked at the royal like he had just grown a second head but started to eat anyway. He was hungry after all.  
They spend the evening with talking. One by one they told each other stories but not the tales of things that happened. They had started to make up stories about wild adventures, spooky castles and beautiful maidens. And apples, lots and lots of apples. Merlin sat back and listened. With every new story he felt better and more comfortable between the knights. He had recognized the thing with the stew as a joke now and his mind was at peace. This change of mind was there for all to see because the black haired boy was smiling the whole time. Really smiling.

The moon had already climbed high in the night sky when they decided to get some sleep. Lancelot would take first watch, just in case. They all settled down for the night. Merlin crawled under his blanket and smiled to himself. He had a warm, fuzzy feeling inside when he thought about their day. He had seen the concern in the knight’s eyes. He had seen how they made sure he was alright. And Arthur had organized a prank, like he always did. They were his friends and he was theirs. He was almost sure now. While thinking about this, darkness slowly took over and he drifted into a comfortable sleep.  
A few feet away from the warlock lay the King. He thought about how he had seen Merlin’s behavior slowly change back to his old self. He felt really proud about himself that he had accomplished this. He too fell asleep with a smile on his face. Everything was alright again.

They all got out of bed when morning arrived. Merlin made breakfast and wasn’t surprised when the knights started helping out. After their meal, while the servant went to do the dishes, he noticed how they all put their own stuff away and on the horses. They were practically taking all his chores away. He smiled brightly. ‘How could I have ever believed those three?’ he wondered.  
It was already late in the morning when they decided to head back to the castle. Merlin dreaded the moment they would arrive again but he didn’t say a word. There was something humiliating about all that had happened. And he feared about what his friends would think if he told them he actually had doubted them. The ride back to the castle went on peacefully. They didn’t get into trouble at all which they all were very grateful about. They could do without any ambush, for now.

They rode on to the courtyard by nightfall. Merlin was riding at his king’s right and was laughing with Gwaine.  
“Seriously! If we had to ride any longer I would have passed out with hunger.”  
“You’re always hungry, Gwaine.”  
“Yeah, so what?”  
Everyone rolled their eyes. The sturdy knight and his food. Someone should write a story about that. They all got off their horses and handed them to the servants who had been waiting for their arrival.   
“Don’t say you didn’t think this was fun.” Arthur said while he placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. The young boy laughed and shook his head.  
“I still don’t get why you like to kill innocent animals, Arthur.” he replied with a faked hurt expression on his face. The King ruffled his hair affectionately. “Oi!” the secret warlock shouted and he started to laugh again.   
Suddenly he noticed three men, watching him from the shadows. His face fell and he began to shake. His nightmares returned to him at top speed and he wished he could disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you eilonwy77 for staying with the story :)  
> \- Thank you Dutch_Girl_Jessie. I always like to see long reviews like yours. I tried my best to describe how someone can change due to bullying and I'm very glad to read that I did a good job at that. I know some people don't like that I made Merlin go OOC at some points but I can see you understand that he does so because of what's happening to him. :) I hope you will like the rest of the story. Let me know what you think. :)
> 
> Three chapters left guys! Again thanks for the kudos!!


	7. It gets worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is… Forget it, you know what I’m going to say anyway.  
> Have fun reading this one.  
> Warning!! Abuse on the way! --> Don’t like it, don’t read it.

Arthur and the knights would have been totally oblivious if they had missed the sudden change in their friend. They looked around to see what caused such a strong reaction and their eyes quickly found the group of new recruits, standing a bit further away from them. When the King turned his gaze back on his servant he could see how he had his head bowed obediently again which made him curse under his breath.   
“Come on, let’s go inside.” he said while pulling on the young man’s hand.  
He made a motion towards his knights to follow him and they did without a second thought. None of them dared to speak until they arrived at Arthur’s chambers. The royal swiftly closed his door and turned to face his friends.  
“Alright, what’s going on?” he asked immediately.  
“Noth…”  
“Don’t say ‘nothing’, Merlin! We’re not blind, you know.”  
“I’m just tired.” the young warlock responded. He looked up at his friends so they wouldn’t think he was lying. Sadly for him he was a terrible liar and they saw right through his lies.  
“It has something to do with the new recruits, hasn’t it?”  
Merlin’s eyes grew wider and he bit his lip. ‘How did they know?’  
“Merlin, the truth please.”  
The servant shook his head. “I can’t… I can’t tell you. I… please don’t make me.”  
They could all see the fear in their friend’s eyes. Whatever they did to him, for they were sure that that’s what this was all about, it must have been terrible enough.  
“Merlin,” Lancelot tried, “if you don’t tell us we can’t help you.”  
“We’re your friends. You can tell us.”  
The raven haired boy shook his head again. Tears were glistening in his eyes and were threatening to fall any second now.  
“Did they hurt you? Because if they did…!” Gwaine growled.  
The servant shook his head again.  
“No, no! It’s alright, I’m alright. It’s nothing, really! I…” Merlin hated this part of himself. He was unable to hide his true feelings when he was with his friends. But he couldn’t tell them. He was afraid what would happen if he did.  
“I’m sorry.” he whispered. A few tears trickled over his cheeks and he ran out of the room before anyone of them could say another word. If he had stayed he feared he might have told them everything. But he didn’t want them to know. He ran straight to the physicians chambers, past a worried looking Gaius, up the stairs, to his bedroom. He let himself fall on his bed and started to cry his heart out. He knew that Arthur and the knights did see him as their friend but how could he tell them about the abuse? How could he ever tell them how he had believed those three culprits, that he ever doubted their friendship? Surely they would feel betrayed by it all, wouldn’t they?  
After a few minutes Gaius walked in to his room. He placed himself on his ward’s bed, without saying a thing. His surrogate son suddenly embraced him and sobbed into his shoulder. The old physician softly stroked his back and let him cry. Minutes passed and when Merlin had finally calmed down the old man dared to speak.  
“What’s wrong, my boy?”  
The raven haired man didn’t respond and kept holding on to his mentor.  
“Did something happen with Arthur?” the physician tried.  
“No! No, of course not. Arthur’s fine. The knights too. Nothing happened. I’m sorry, I guess I’m just tired.” the warlock used his lies again.  
“Come on Merlin. I know you better than that. Tell me.”  
The servant shook his head. “It’s _fine_ , Gaius. I only need some sleep.”  
Gaius sighed, padded Merlin’s hand and stood up.  
“Good night, my boy.” he said softly.  
“Good night, Gaius.” the young man responded before he curled up under his blanket.

In another room of the castle, Arthur and his knights had been shocked to see how their friend had run out of the chamber. They had never seen him behave like that. Merlin was always smiling. Only Arthur had seen Merlin cry on a few occasions but those were rare sights indeed. To see him so upset was something they had never thought possible.  
“I’m going to kill them!” Gwaine shouted as he headed for the door.  
“Gwaine! Wait!” Leon called him back. “We don’t know if they have anything to do with all this.”  
“No? It was pretty clear to me.” the sturdy knight growled. “Or didn’t you see how he reacted when he saw them.”  
“Leon is right, Gwaine. I do believe they are involved in this somehow but as long as Merlin doesn’t tell us, we can’t know for sure.” Arthur said.  
“Fine! I’ll make him tell us!”  
“Gwaine!” Lancelot shouted while he pulled the knight back into the room. “Let him sleep now. He was clearly exhausted. Better to ask him again in the morning.”  
The apple loving knight grunted and placed himself on a chair, arms crossed and face with a murderous look.  
“We should keep an eye on them.” Percival said quietly. The others nodded in agreement.  
“Just to be sure.” Arthur added.  
“We’ll start tomorrow. For now, let’s all go to bed. I don’t think we can do much this evening anyway.”  
The knights all bowed to their King and left to their own chambers. Gwaine hesitated a bit longer and turned around again when he came at the door.  
“If they did hurt him, I will kill them!” he growled. Arthur nodded and the angry knight left the room, closing the door behind him with a loud ‘bang!’  
The King sighed and made himself ready for bed. ‘If they did hurt Merlin, he would give Gwaine a hand. No one harmed his friend and got away with it.’

_‘”No! Please don’t! I didn’t tell them! Please! Leave me alone!” Merlin cried and pleaded but the three knights didn’t listen to him. They kicked at him, punched him and pulled his hair. He tried to fight them off but he wasn’t strong enough. Two strong hands found his neck. He couldn’t breathe! He was suffocating! Every attempt to free himself failed and he could feel his life slipping out of him. Darkness was slowly taking a hold of his mind and he could feel his body go numb.’_

Merlin woke up, gasping for air. He could feel fresh tears on his face and he was trembling uncontrollably. ‘They tried to kill me.’ he thought frightened. ‘They will if you let this go on.’ a voice that sounded much like Arthur’s said. ‘You have to tell them.’ ‘I can’t tell them!’ ‘Than you’ll die.’  
The young man bit his lip and tried to ignore the voices in his head. He made himself comfortable again and closed his eyes. Sleep took over within a minute, making the dreams coming back.

_‘”Why didn’t you tell us? We’re your friends. Don’t you trust us? You should have told us, Merlin. We could have protected you. Now you’re dead. It’s really your own fault.” Arthur and his knights were standing at a pyre. The King was holding a torch. After a few moments of silence he threw the torch at the pyre. It immediately started to burn. “Good bye, old friend.” he could hear his master say. “It’s alright, Arthur. I’m still here.” the young warlock said, trying to attract his attention. But the royal didn’t seem to hear him. He turned around and went inside the castle. He locked himself in his room and refused to see anyone.’_

Merlin woke up when the light from outside seeped through his window. Birds were already chirping happily but it didn’t warm his soul like it usually did. The nightmares that had been plaguing him that night made him think. Maybe it would be better if he told Arthur about the three knights. Arthur would defend him, wouldn’t he? And if he didn’t, Gwaine surely would. He had already told him that he would kill those men if he found out they had hurt him. He still had the bruises on his neck as proof. He slowly got out of bed and dressed himself. He tied his neckerchief securely around his neck and walked into Gaius’ room. The old physician was already awake and had started to make some porridge for breakfast.   
“Good morning, Gaius.” the young warlock said while placing himself at the table.  
“Good morning, Merlin. How do you feel?” the old man asked.  
“I’m feeling a bit better.” he replied. He didn’t want to worry his mentor. He would tell him all about it when this was all over. They ate in silence and after they were done, Merlin left to pick up Arthur’s food.

When he was walking through the hallways he could swear that someone was watching him. He looked around but only found an empty hallway. ‘Must be the ghosts of my nightmare.’ he thought. A shiver ran down his back and he quickened his pace. As he arrived at the kitchens he let out a relieved sigh and took the plate that was already waiting for him. He quickly took a pitcher, filled with water, in his other hand and made his way to the royal chambers. The feeling that he was being watched suddenly returned, stronger than before. Almost like a warning. When he again turned to see no one was around he started to walk faster. All of a sudden he felt some strong hands grabbing him. The plate and pitcher fell out of his hands and clattered to the ground. He tried to shout but someone covered his mouth. He got pulled into an empty room and pushed to the ground. Someone was tying his hands on his back while someone else gagged him. He couldn’t see his attackers but he was pretty sure who they were. He kicked around and tried to turn himself on his back but before he could do that, he got pulled onto his feet. When he saw sirs Ulrick, Ethan and Thomas standing in front of him, he wanted to glare at them, to show them he wasn’t scared. But the fear that quickly took a hold of his heart made this impossible. He backed away until his hands felt a wall behind him.  
“We warned you!” sir Ethan said.  
“Yet you went and disobeyed our orders anyway.” sir Ulrick followed.  
Merlin shook his head but he knew it was no use. Nothing he could say or do would get him out of this situation.  
“We saw you at the courtyard last evening! We saw how you behaved.” sir Thomas sneered.  
“You’ve had your last chance, boy! Now you’ll pay!”  
The young warlock shook his head again. Tears were already forming in his eyes. Sir Ethan quickly came closer to him and gave him the first hit. The impact of it made his head slam against the stone wall. He became dizzy and darkness already threatened to take over. He breathed heavily to clear his vision but the second hit, (from sir Thomas? He wasn’t sure.), made his head slam to the wall again and he crumpled to the floor. Tears were now streaming freely down his face and everything around him was a blur. He wanted to use his magic but he couldn’t focus. There was no way he would be able to take his aggressors out now. One of them kicked him in his stomach which made him gasp for air. The pain was almost unbearable and just when he thought it couldn’t get much worse, he got kicked again. He could hear and feel his ribs crack. The black haired boy cried out against his gag and he squeezed his eyes shut.  
“Open your eyes!” sir Ethan shouted with another kick at the young boy on the floor. When Merlin refused to do as he was told, one of the men brought his foot down on the boy’s leg. A loud ‘crack’ echoed in the room and Merlin cried out again.   
He was going to pass out, he knew it. He had to do something, and quickly but his dazed head didn’t let him focus enough. Suddenly an idea popped into his mind. He let his magic flow through his arms in order to get rid of the bondages that were keeping his arms behind his back. Just when he could feel the rope slide from his wrists, he received another kick against his shoulder. In an attempt to defend himself he pulled his arms from under his body and held them protectively in front of his face. He managed to pull the gag away, which he now noticed was his own neckerchief, and started to shout for his dear life.  
“Help! Please! Some…!” he cried.  
His cries for help were abruptly stopped by two large hands that grabbed his throat. Merlin tried to gasp for air. He kicked around and pulled on the hands to get them away. Nothing was working. His body was shutting down and his movements lessened until they completely stopped. Sweet darkness covered his mind and his hands fell lifelessly to the ground. He didn’t try to fight it anymore and welcomed unconsciousness like an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeep!!! Poor Merlin! Where are his idiotic friends when he needs them?!  
> Please don't hate me! I'll update the next chapter soon!  
> \- Thanks eilonwy77 for your review :) Always happy to know you're still reading.  
> \- Evie, thank you for your fun review. I fear you might want to murder someone now. I just hope it isn't me. :p I'm sorry, I just had to hurt Merlin. _Evil smirk_  
>  I'm happy you like the story and thank you for the compliment. It warms my heart. ^^  
> \- Thank you for the review cissathebookworm :) I hope you like the rest of the story too!
> 
> Welcome to all new readers! Can’t believe there are so many of you already!


	8. ... before it gets better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERLIN IS MINE!! -_- Who am I kidding?  
> Little surprise, this isn’t the last chapter after all! Enjoy!

Arthur was pacing around in his room. He had woken up on himself and had waited a bit for his clumsy servant to come in but after a while he got out of bed anyway and dressed himself. It could be that Merlin had overslept again but there was a nagging feeling, deep in his stomach that told him something was terribly wrong. He couldn’t take this anymore. He stormed out of his room, straight for the physicians chambers. He was going to drag that ‘lazy idiot’ out of his bed and make him do the most terrible chores, just for worrying him like that.  
On his way to Gaius’ chambers he almost ran into Gwaine and Lancelot.  
“Sire, what’s going on?” Lancelot asked while studying his king’s face.  
“Merlin, that’s what’s on. He didn’t show up for work this morning.” the King replied.  
He was about to get on with his little journey when a thought occurred to him.  
“Aren’t you two supposed to watch the new recruits this morning?”  
“Yes, well, we can’t find them, sire” Gwaine said. For once he used the King’s formal title.  
Without another word, Arthur ran all the way to Merlin’s room. He had to know that his friend was still safe in his bed. His two knights were following close behind.  
Without hesitation he threw the door open, only to see a startled Gaius.  
“Sire, what can I do for you?” he asked politely.  
“Where’s Merlin?”  
“I thought he was with you.” the old physician answered. “He left a while ago to get your breakfast.”  
Realization dawned upon the three men and they all became pale.  
“You don’t think…” Lancelot said.  
“Dear God, I hope not.” Arthur mumbled. “Get the others! We must find him!” he ordered and they all rushed out of the room, leaving a confused Gaius alone.

Arthur and Gwaine immediately started to search for their young friend while Lancelot hurried towards the knight’s chambers. He informed Percival, Leon and Elyan about what was happening and they all ran off into different directions, hoping to get a better chance at finding him sooner.  
Arthur and Gwaine quickly learned that Merlin had come through the kitchens to collect the King’s breakfast. After that no one had seen him. They took the hallways the servant should have used in order to get to the royal chambers and found the plate with food and the pitcher with spilled water still laying on the ground. They gave each other a worried look, reading the same question in each other’s eyes. ‘Merlin?’  
“Help! Please! Some…!” The sudden cry confirmed their suspicion.  
“Merlin!” Arthur shouted in response to the plea for help. Both men started running to the door where they had heard their friend’s voice come from. They rushed inside just to see their friends hands fall lifelessly to the ground. The King’s heart stopped and he saw red. Without a moment’s pause he attacked sir Thomas and pushed him of his friend. Both men were now fighting on the floor. Gwaine had drawn his sword and stood protectively in front of his best friend, glaring at the two other knights, daring them to come closer so he could pierce their hearts.  
Lancelot and Percival had been able to hear the shouts and came as quickly as they could. Upon seeing the young boy, all color drained out of their faces. It was a terrible sight indeed.  
Merlin’s body lay broken and still on the floor. He was battered and bruised and blood was seeping from various wounds. His breathing was shallow and almost unnoticeable. Lancelot rushed to Merlin’s side and tried to wake him by shaking him. The boy didn’t respond though.  
“Is he…?” Percival asked.  
“He’s alive.” the noble knight answered before he could finish his question.   
Just on that moment, Leon and Elyan came rushing in. They had seen the plate and pitcher and could hear the voices of their friends coming from the room that normally would have been empty. One look on the scene in front of them was all they needed to figure out what had happened. Leon immediately took charge and motioned Elyan to help him. They pulled the two fighters apart. The King had a black eye but seemed to be fine. Sir Thomas on the other hand was carrying a lot of cuts and bruises. A soft, pained noise coming from Merlin made the King turn.  
“Take him to Gaius.” Arthur ordered when he saw how terrible his servant looked. Percival carefully took the young man in his arms and left the room, followed by Lancelot who would run to the physicians chambers to warn Gaius beforehand.  
“How dare you touch him?!” the royal shouted infuriated. “You are knights! You are supposed to protect people like him! What got in to you three?”  
“Sire, he…” sir Ethan tried to think of the right thing to say in order to save their skins.  
“Think carefully about your next words.” Gwaine growled, his sword still at the ready.  
“We wanted to help you, sire. He’s just an insolent servant. He had to be thought his place.”  
“HIS PLACE!” Arthur was seething. “His place is beside me! Doing his job and being the idiot he is.”  
“Take them away!” the King shouted. “I’ll decide on their punishment later.” he growled.  
The three faithful men nodded, Gwaine with a promising smirk on his face, and forcefully grabbed the aggressors. They forced their arms on their backs and dragged them out of the room, towards the dungeons. The King immediately made his way to Gaius’ room. He had to know if his friend would be alright.

“How is he, Gaius?” the King asked the moment he walked into the room.  
“I don’t know yet, sire.” the physician answered while he hovered over his ward, checking the damage that had been done.  
“He has one broken leg, two broken ribs, the others are severely bruised. A bleeding nose, black eye and a terrible head wound. His shoulder is probably cracked, if not broken and I don’t know yet what damage they did to his throat.” the old man said, the emotion clear in his voice.  
Arthur looked at his friend, who seemed so small and breakable upon the cot. Anger was bubbling inside of him when he noticed how some of the bruises on Merlin’s torso and throat were already beginning to change color.  
“They’ve hurt him before!” he exclaimed. Percival and Lancelot came closer to look at what their King meant.   
“He’s been hurting for days and he didn’t tell us! Why would he do that?”  
“I don’t get why anyone would want to hurt him. What has he ever done to deserve this?”  
Gaius shook his head while he worked on his surrogate son. He had already reset the boy’s ribs so he could breath more easily and was now working on his arm.  
“Can you help me hold him up while I bandage his torso?” the old man asked. The King immediately came forward and helped Merlin sit up as gently as he could. When the physician was done bandaging his ward’s ribs and arm they laid him down again so the white haired man could start on his leg. Meanwhile, Gwaine, Leon and Elyan had come into the room. The first one with a face like thunder and bloodied knuckles. No one said anything about it though.  
“Are they put away securely?” the royal asked. Leon nodded.  
“We’ve put them in different cells and informed the guards they have to keep an extra eye on them.”  
“Thank you.” Arthur said and turned his gaze back to his young friend.  
“How is he?” Gwaine asked worried.   
“A few broken bones, cuts and bruises. A head wound and a damaged throat.” Lancelot replied, causing the sturdy knight to growl in anger.  
“I swear Arthur, if you don’t punish them severely for this, I will make sure they will get what they deserve.” The King nodded. He was perfectly fine with this.  
“I’m going to ask Merlin what he wants their punishment to be.” the royal said. After that, they all waited in silence.  
An hour had quickly flown by and it seemed like forever until Gaius finally said he had done everything he could. The only thing they could do now was wait and hope that the young servant would wake up soon.

The first time when he woke up, all Merlin could see were blurred shapes. His eyes were unfocused and the light seeping through the window made his head hurt. He quickly closed his eyes again and listened to hear if anyone was with him, wherever he may be. He figured he was in the physicians chambers and had somehow survived the attack. How, he did not know. He didn’t have long to think about it though for the darkness claimed his body and mind again.

The second time he woke, there wasn’t much light in the room. Only from the hearth and a few candles. It didn’t hurt his head as much anymore and he could see more clearly. The young man carefully turned his head and was surprised to see who was sitting next to him. It was Arthur, soundly asleep in a chair. Merlin smiled fondly at the sight of his master and a warm, fuzzy feeling filled his heart. ‘He does care!’ he thought happily while tears prickled behind his eyes. Just then he became aware of the pain radiating from his leg, ribs, arm and throat, like they all suddenly needed his attention. The raven haired boy moaned which caused him to cough. Of course this wasn’t doing any good for his broken ribs. The pain that jolted through his body made him cry out, which immediately woke Arthur and Gaius.  
“Calm down, Merlin” his mentor said soothingly. “Take slow breaths.” he instructed.  
As the young warlock had calmed down again, the King gave him a bit of water, which soothed his sore throat.  
“Thanks” the young man croaked. “What…”  
“You should not speak yet, Merlin. Get some rest.” the old physician said, gently pushing his ward back down on his bed.  
“We’ll explain everything to you when you’re better.” Arthur said, smiling encouragingly at his friend.  
With this, Merlin closed his eyes and dozed off again.

When he woke again it was to the sounds of his friends, talking to each other in hushed voices.  
“You know he will not see them punished, Arthur! He’s too kind for his own good!”  
The royal sighed audibly. “I know that, Gwaine. But he’s the one who’s been attacked. He must get a say in this.”  
“Fine!” the sturdy knight growled. “But I won’t go for anything less than a piece of their own medicine!”  
Before the young warlock could hear his king’s response, his sore body started to act up again which made him stir and groan. The conversation between both men abruptly stopped and they turned their attention towards him.  
“Merlin mate!” Gwaine exclaimed. The sound made Merlin wince slightly. “Sorry” the sturdy knight apologized.   
“How are you feeling?” the royal asked cautiously.  
“Like I’ve been run over by a few horses.” the young man said hoarsely and he managed a small grin.  
When he noticed the stern look in the King’s eyes he became serious again.  
“I’ve been better.” he sighed. “My head still hurts and my body is sore. It’s fine if I don’t move though.”  
The two men looked at him for a while, making him a bit uncomfortable.  
“How long have I been out?” he asked to break the silence.  
“We found you three days ago.” Arthur answered.  
“Ooh…” was all Merlin could bring out and he averted his eyes.  
“Why didn’t you tell us what was happening?” the King asked after again a moment’s pause. His servant bit his lip and refused to look at him.  
“Merlin?” Gwaine asked carefully.  
“I… I wanted to, but…” he started.  
“But?”  
“I was… scared. I’m sorry, I know I should have told you.” he said, still not meeting their eyes.  
“Indeed, you should have.” the royal said quietly. “Rest now, you idiot. We’ll talk when you wake up again.”  
The young man didn’t argue and closed his eyes. Drifting back to sleep almost immediately.

He didn’t know how long he had been asleep for but when he opened his eyes it was still (or again?) light outside and he could see all of his friends in the small room. Arthur was on the chair, next to his bed. Gwaine was standing against the wall, looking outside the window. Lancelot was sitting next to Gaius at his desk. They were both reading silently. Leon and Elyan stood by the door and were talking in hushed voices. And Percival was sitting on a chair at his other side. None of them seemed to notice he was awake.  
“Having a party without me, are we?” he asked, trying to sound serious but failing miserably.   
“Merlin!” Arthur shouted happily. Within a second all men looked at him.  
“Good to see you awake, my boy.” the old physician said while standing up and walking towards his ward. “How do you feel?”  
“I feel better than the last time I woke.” he answered honestly. Both Arthur and Gaius helped him in a sitting position. The latter giving him a bit of water.  
“Glad to see you all here.” the young warlock began. “I have to apologize, to all of you.”  
“No, Merlin. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Lancelot interrupted him.  
“I do” he said. “I know that I should have come to you to tell about… well, to let you know but… I wanted to, at first.” he fell silent for a moment but no one said a word. They all waited patiently for their friend to continue.  
“The things they said, I didn’t believe them. Not really. Not in the beginning, but… well I guess I did believe them and I doubted you. All of you. And I’m terribly sorry. I shouldn’t have.”  
Still no one dared to make a sound.  
“I’m sorry.” the raven haired boy apologized again. “I wanted to tell you that morning.” he said, turning his gaze to Arthur. “But I guess I was too late. It’s all my fault, really. I should have realized sooner.”  
“Realized what?” Gwaine was the first to ask.  
“That I am… that you are my… friends.” he said, his voice breaking a little like he was still uncertain about this.  
“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur exclaimed, unbelieving that what he just heard really had been said.. “Of course you are our friend! How could you ever doubt that?”  
The young man averted his eyes and looked at his hands.  
“I’m sorry.” he whispered.  
“Maybe it’s because you never used those words yourself!” Gwaine shouted accusingly at the King.  
“Gwaine!” Lancelot reprimanded him.  
“No, he’s right. I’ve never told you what you really mean to me, Merlin. And I’m sorry about that. I’ve should have seen, I should have been a better friend, then all of this wouldn’t have happened.” the royal confessed.  
“Don’t” Merlin said softly. “It’s not your fault. None of you are to blame.”  
“If there’s anyone to blame” Gaius said, “it should be those three in the dungeons.”  
After a few seconds they all nodded in agreement. The black haired boy let out a soft sigh.  
“What are you going to do to them?” he asked while looking at his King.  
“I don’t know yet.” he answered honestly. “I wanted to know what you thought.”  
“Me?”  
“Yes you, you idiot. It’s you who they have been hurting after all.”  
“I don’t know.” Merlin said softly. “I guess you could put them in the stocks or something.”  
“What? For heaven’s sake, Merlin! You could have been dead! Thank the Lord that we found you just in time! And you want to let them off with a visit to the stocks?” Arthur couldn’t believe his servant. He was really too kind for his own good.  
“In two days there will be a trial.” the King said a bit calmer now. “I want you to tell your story in front of the court if you can. They will listen to _them_ too.” Merlin became almost translucent when he thought about seeing those evil knights again. His friends must have noticed for they immediately tried to sooth him.  
“Don’t worry, mate. We’ll be there with you, every second of the way. They won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”  
Merlin smiled at his friends and tried his best to look brave but he didn’t look forward to the trial, to say the least.  
“Whatever punishment they will get,” Arthur went on, “you won’t have to see them ever again. I promise.” He laid his hand carefully on Merlin’s and squeezed it reassuringly. His friend turned his gaze at him and gave him a genuine smile.   
“Thank you, Arthur.” he said softly. The King nodded at him and returned the smile.  
“Now, all of you, out!” Gaius said sternly. “Merlin still needs his rest and he can’t do that with all of you hanging around his bed.”  
The young boy chuckled, carefully as not to aggravate his ribs and waved with his uninjured arm as they left the room.  
“Sleep well, old friend.” Arthur said with a last glance at his servant.  
Gaius helped his ward in a laying position and before his head touched the pillow, the black haired boy had drifted off into a blissful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… I decided to split this chapter in two. Last chapter will be published soon. :)  
> \- Dutch_Girl_Jessie: Thank you so much for taking your time to review both chapters. I really love your reviews, they give me the will to update faster. I'm so glad you like the story and I hope I won't disappoint you with my last chapters.  
> It wasn't that smart of the knights to postpone their surveillances till the next day indeed. They make up for it though. :)  
>  _Hands you a spare sword._ Be carefull, it's sharp... ;)  
>  \- eilonwy77: I hope the revenge of Arthur and his knights was how you wanted it to be. :)  
> \- missfae (missreeree): Thank you for your review :) I try to update fast cause I know how irritating it can be when you need to wait too long for an update.
> 
> One chapter to go my dears. I hope you liked my story. Thank you all for the kudos, reviews and bookmarks! Lots of love!


	9. The trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is from BBC. So is Arthur. –sigh-  
> Last chapter everyone! Enjoy it!

The day of the trial came quickly. Merlin had filled the time with sleeping and healing. Lucky for him, his magic helped him heal faster than any normal person would but it was still slow enough so it wouldn’t raise suspicions. Arthur and the knights seemed to spend more time in the physicians chambers than anywhere else but the young man didn’t complain. He realized his stupidity now more than ever. The friendship these six men felt for him was there for all to see and he made a silent vow that he would never doubt that again, no matter what people would tell him.

“Do you think he’s strong enough to attend the trial?” Arthur asked the old physician who was giving his ward a last checkup.  
“I think he is, sire. He can’t stand yet though and he will need to put his leg up.”  
“We’ll arrange some chairs” the King replied.  
“Do I have to go?” Merlin asked quietly.  
“Of course you do, _Mer_ lin! How else do you suppose to tell the court about what happened?”  
“You can tell them?” the secret warlock tried. Gwaine, who had just arrived, had been watching his two friends and chuckled.  
“Mate, you’ll be fine. We’ll be by your side. You have nothing to worry about.” the sturdy knight said reassuringly. The servant grumbled something but let them help him out of bed. Gwaine immediately put a strong arm carefully around the boy’s waist for support. They had to get to the courtroom like this since Merlin’s injuries didn’t allow him to walk with crutches. It was a long walk, they had to stop a few times so the raven haired boy could catch his breath, but they finally made it to their destination.  
There were already a lot of people inside the room. Both servants and nobles alike. Arthur went to instruct a servant to get two comfortable chairs for his manservant before he went to talk to some of the court members who were already there. Gwaine helped his young friend to his spot at the front of the room where the other knights were already waiting for him.  
“Merlin! How do you feel today?” Lancelot asked upon seeing him.  
“Can I go to bed again?” was his short but clear answer. His eyes shifted around the room and it was obvious he wasn’t feeling comfortable at all.  
Before anyone could respond, a servant arrived with the two chairs and placed them in the right position. The dark haired knight helped his young friend on the stool and placed his injured leg carefully on the other.  
“Thanks” Merlin whispered.  
“You’re lucky you get to sit down, mate.” Gwaine said jokingly. “We’ll have to stand trough all of this.”  
“Want to change places?” the servant retorted. Right on that moment, the King made his way over to them. He kneeled down so he would be on Merlin’s eye level.  
“They’re going to listen to you first. I want you to tell them exactly what happened. Don’t leave anything out, alright?” the royal informed his manservant. The young man nodded but they all noticed how the color was slowly draining from his cheeks. Arthur gave him a reassuring squeeze in his knee.  
“It’s going to be alright.” he said with a smile. “You’re not alone, remember that.”  
Merlin smiled back at his master and nodded.   
“Thanks Arthur.” he said and watched as his King walked towards his throne. The court members placed themselves on their chairs and all the spectators went silent. The royal took a last look at his friend and motioned with his hand that the trial could start.

The doors of the courtroom swung open and the three aggressive knights were brought in by some guards. Their hands were chained and they all looked terrible. Sir Thomas had a black eye and it seemed like his nose had been broken. Sir Ethan had a black eye as well and was walking with a limp. Sir Ulrick had a split lip and was cradling his right arm. Merlin turned his gaze to Gwaine who had started to chuckle upon seeing the three bruised man.  
“What happened to them?” he dared to ask with a whispered voice.  
“Let’s say they didn’t like to be arrested.” the sturdy knight answered with a small grin on his face.  
The young warlock shook his head and looked back at his three assailants.  
“Thank you” he whispered after a few seconds.

When everyone was where they should be, Arthur stood up and looked into the room.  
“These three are standing accused today for the mental and physical abuse of my manservant, Merlin. The court will decide about their punishment after hearing both sides of the story. May the truth come out and justice be served.” he said and went to sit back on his throne.   
The head of the court stood up and said, “We’ll first hear the story of the victim”, starting what would be a long trial.

Merlin had seen his three aggressors looking at him warningly but he tried to ignore them. They couldn’t hurt him anymore so there was no point in lying to the court. After a few reassuring smiles from his friends, he started his story.  
“It all began on the day of the feast for the new recruits.” He fell silent for a moment, counting the days. “Thirteen days ago, if I’m not mistaken.” He looked at Arthur who nodded to indicate he was right.  
“That evening, after I returned from the King’s chambers, I felt someone grab me and I got pulled into an alcove. When my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see it were sirs Ethan, Thomas and Ulirck. They were angry about the way I behaved towards the King and his knights and told me it had to stop. They threatened me and said that if I told anyone about our encounter I’d wish I’d never been born.”  
“You lying filth!” sir Ethan shouted and he tried to pull away from the guard who was still holding on to him. Merlin shrunk back and Gwaine immediately went to stand between his friend and his assailants.   
“Silence!” the head of the court shouted. “Go on, Merlin.” he said when everyone had calmed down again.  
“The uhm… The next day I went on with my duties as usual. When I went to clean the stables they attacked me.” His eyes shifted towards the accused again and he bit his lip, uncertain about how to go on with his story.  
“I got pushed to the ground and when I turned, they were towering over me. They were angry because I hadn’t listen to them the day before. sir Thomas pulled me back to my feet and they started to shout about how I needed to learn my place.” The young man looked at Arthur. There was so much more that had been said that day but he couldn’t say that now, could he? He decided to leave most of their conversation out of it.  
“Sir Ethan pushed me against the wall and I fell to the ground.” he went on. “Sir Ulrick said I was worthless, while he kicked me. After that, sir Thomas was…” his eyes found the man in question and he paled.   
“What was he doing?” the head of the court asked patiently.  
“He was… chocking me.” the young servant finally said. “While he told me this would be my last chance. They left the stables after that and I must have passed out because when I opened my eyes again, it was already evening.”  
Arthur recalled that day. He had thought his manservant had fallen asleep in the stables, neglecting his duties, when in reality he had been injured and unconscious. He cursed inwardly. How could he not have noticed?  
Merlin didn’t tell them about his nightmares, about how he doubted his friends and how much the knight’s words had influenced his way of thinking. The court would have no message to that. Though the nightmares and doubts were indirectly a result of the attacks, they wouldn’t be of any use in this trial.  
“The next day, the King had announced we would go on a hunting trip. As I was getting everything ready for our trip, they pulled me into an empty room and threatened that if I did or said anything during this trip, they would know. They told me that the King and his knights were happier with me now I was behaving accordingly. After that they let me go.”  
The looks both the King and his knights were giving the three poor excuses of men were murderous to say the least, making them shift uncomfortable.  
“The day after we got back from the hunting trip, I was about to bring the King his breakfast , when they pulled me in a room again. They bound my hands together and used my neckerchief as a gag. Sir Ethan was the first to hit me. I fell with my head against the wall and after that it all went on in a blur. I don’t know who did what but I could feel they were kicking me. I managed to free my hands and pull away my neckerchief so I could call for help but then one of them started chocking me. After that, everything went black until I woke up again a few days later.”  
“Thank you.” the head of the court said and Merlin bowed his head.  
“Well done.” Lancelot whispered, making the raven haired man look up and smile.

“Are there any witnesses who can confirm this man’s story?”  
Arthur stood up and went to stand in front of the court. Silent gasps and mumbles were heard as the crowd realized that their King would stand as a witness to help his manservant.  
“I can confirm the story of my servant.” he said loud and clear.  
“I noticed his change in behavior almost immediately and could see there was something bothering him but he refused to tell me. It was obvious he was afraid to do so. Six days ago I went to search for him because he didn’t show up in the morning. That’s when I could hear him call out for help. As I rushed into the room, sir Thomas was chocking him.”  
“Thank you, sire.” the head of the court said with a bow of his head. The King went back to his seat.  
“Are there any other witnesses?” the man asked, looking around the room. Gwaine was the next to come forward. He told his story, which was much the same as the king’s. After that, the four other knights told their view on the case too. With such respected witnesses and the injuries still clear for everyone to see, the accused wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Do you have anything to say to defend yourselves?” the courtier said, looking at the three men in front of him.  
“He had to learn his place!” sir Ethan shouted. “Everyone knows how useless and insolent this servant is! Someone had to do it since the King didn’t do a thing about it.”  
The knights of the round table were growling softly. Some people in the crowd were gasping again and Arthur looked like he could kill the man, right then and there.  
“Take them outside.” the head of the court said. “We will now decide what their punishment will be.”  
The three men were escorted outside the room and the members of the court left through another door.  
“You did well.” Arthur said when he had joined his friends.  
“Thank you all for coming forth as witnesses.” the young man said.  
“Anytime.” Gwaine answered with a fond smile.

The members of the court came back rather quickly. Everyone went back to their places and the King motioned for everyone to be silent. The accused were brought in again. They were looking slightly pale now, knowing that the trial hadn’t gone in their favor at all. They clearly had misjudged the relation this servant had with both the King and his other knights.  
“The court has come to a decision. The three of you are hereby stripped of your knighthood and nobility. Furthermore you will all be put in the stocks for a week. After that you’ll be banished from Camelot upon paying with death should you return.”  
The three former knights were brought straight to the stocks, the court left the room and the knights helped Merlin get back to the physicians chambers.

When the young man was back in his bed the knights all took a place around him. Not a minute later, Arthur entered the room.  
“That went well.” he said with a satisfied smile.  
Merlin tilted his head and narrowed his eyes slightly when he looked at his King.  
“I don’t understand why the court chose that punishment. I’m just a servant after all.”  
“I may or may not have instructed them to give nothing less than banishment.” the royal said.  
“I don’t like having people like that hanging around in Camelot.”  
The young servant shook his head and sighed, a genuine smile gracing his face.  
“Thank you, Arthur.” he said.  
“You’re welcome.” the royal answered.  
“Merlin,” Lancelot started carefully, “you didn’t tell them everything, did you?”  
The raven haired boy looked at his friend for a second before turning his eyes at his hands. He slowly shook his head.  
“No,” he admitted, “I didn’t see the point on telling them about the things they said. It wouldn’t have made any difference.”  
“Whatever they told you, Merlin, you shouldn’t believe anything they said. It were all lies, no doubt.”  
“I know.” the servant answered.  
“Then why did you start to doubt that?” the King asked.  
“I had nightmares.” the raven haired boy admitted. “They made me wonder about everything that had been said and done in the past. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have doubted you.”  
“Merlin,” Gwaine said seriously, “you are our friend, nothing will change that. No matter what happens, you must know that we will always be here for you.”  
The others nodded in agreement and Merlin smiled a bright smile, small tears of joy glistening in his eyes.  
“I may have called you useless many times, Merlin. But I never meant it. True, you are a clumsy idiot, but I wouldn’t want you to change. Don’t ever change who you are! Not for anyone!”  
A single tear ran over the warlocks cheek but his smile grew even wider.  
“Thank you, Arthur.” He whispered.  
“Don’t mention it. Seriously, if you ever tell anyone about this…!”  
Merlin rolled his eyes and everyone in the room started to laugh.  
“Prat!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BIIIIIIIGGGG THANKS TO EVERYONE!!!  
> I hope you all liked this story. I sure did like writing it. It was a real challenge.  
> I surely am going to write another one for Merlin (I have a few ideas ready) but I don’t know when I will post it yet. So if you are interested, keep a lookout for any updates.  
> Also, if you have any suggestions for a story, message me and I’ll see what I can do. ;)  
> Love you all and see you soon!
> 
> -Dutch_Girl_Jessie: I hope you are satisfide. I for one had hoped the punishment to be a bit harsher but, well, they were of noble families. Sentencing them to death because of a servant just isn't the done thing. I do give you permission to chase them and kill them off anyway. ;)  
> Hope to see you around when I'm uploading my next story! Thank you for you lovely reviews. <3  
> \- eilonwy77: There's no way in hell Gwaine would be to harsh. Not in this situation. xD Anyway, I hope you liked the end of the story too and I'd love to see you when I publish my next story. Thank you for your reviews! <3  
> \- missfae (missreeree): You're very welcome :) I hope you liked the end of the story and hopefully I'll also see you around when I publish the next one. _hugs back!_

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter! Yay! I don’t know how many chapters I’m going to write for this story. I’ll try to update frequently.  
> Let me know what you think so far!


End file.
